Simon Peter saith unto them, I go a fishing… [John 21:3]
Dating platforms are the absolute worst.
This guy named Sogi looks like he swallowed — and regurgitated a bag of charcoal (his lips are too dark); this other one, Ernest, looks like a catch, but what on earth is “I am lukn 4 a sweet gurl to wife”?
Like??
And this other guy — is he gay?
I had totally given up on finding a boyfriend or remotely entering into a relationship leading to something vaguely resembling marriage. It’s just too much work.
You’d have to position yourself and attend all the lame parties when you’d much rather be planning a new idea for the office project. Then you’d have to pretend to like football and endure endless hours of analysis and match reruns. Then you’d have to prepare a short bio, me in a hundred words or less to pitch on every first date.
Frankly, it’s gotten to the point where hearing “Tell me about yourself” could earn someone a slap. Or something; because what is all this?
"Babes, you’re staring again!" Chioke whispered at me.
It was another Monday morning to work on designs for this elite advertising firm on the Island. It wasn't exactly my dream job, but it was a lot better than the last one.
“I know; shit— leave me alone”, I groaned. It was just 10.40am, and everything had been going smoothly until the guy from Finance walked in.
Dare.
Dare with the clean-cut look and tailored suits. And a voice to die for, and…oh no, I was losing it again.
“Chioke, I told you to alert me before he gets here, so I could, you know, escape or something.”
“Sorry, too late,” She said, in a tone that was certainly not sorry.
I rolled my eyes at her and hunched over my Macbook, pretending to be engrossed in getting out the designs for a new client we just clinched.
And I was too until Mr Fine and Classy walked in.
Here’s the deal, Dare was my husband, I just knew it.
So even though we barely spoke to ourselves, and he didn’t know the first thing about me, I knew that he was the one for me. I mean, what else could that dream of both of us kneeling in front of the pastor at church and him praying over us mean?
So I just knew he was mine, even though he was particularly cosy with the girl from HR, and some other finance chick had taken to getting him lunch when she did her lunch run. They were the side bait, just distractions until the Lord deemed it fit to introduce me on the scene — the rightful owner. I adjusted my imaginary engagement ring.
I certainly was going to wait on the Lord for Him to reveal me to my Dare, my hubby, but in the meantime — I adjusted my culottes— I was going fishing.
It’s August!
Watch out for Bimpe on the fishing trawler…
She’s certainly out to trawl every river and ocean available to find her Mr Right. And you can’t tell her otherwise.
Time is short, and she needs to catch her fish already.
But—
Do you think Bimpe actually heard from God about Dare?
What do you think happens next?
Watch out for the next episode!
