Do you ever have times when you feel like, “Man, I’m done”?
Well, here’s one piece of advice — it’s always a bad idea to say it.
I’ll tell you.
So a couple of weeks ago, I had this deadline to meet, plus a pile of laundry to be done, plus professional exams to write. Plus (throw in any other nearly catastrophic event you can think of here). and I sat in my room and thought, and I said to myself,
"Man, can things get any worse than this?"
After throwing this rhetoric question at the universe, I went out on my way to restock on a few toiletries.
I walked into this supermarket looking for my favourite brand of body spray. The salesperson gets this funny looking container and hands it over to me:
"Here, here's the XYZ spray."
I thought it was a bit odd-looking, but between thinking about my laundry and my books which certainly wouldn't read themselves, plus wondering what my guardian angels would say if they could go through my waste bin and see all the junk I'd been eating lately, I didn't think much of it.
Besides, it had the same name.
So I got back home, took a shower, and tada, time to try the fancy body spray.
Spritz.
Spritz. Spritz.
Still nothing.
I stopped for a second to sniff the air like a hound dog. I mean, I didn't suddenly develop anosmia, did I?
And that was when my eyes lighted on the inscription at the top half of the can.
Fragrance-free.
The spray was ODOURLESS!
(Something about sensitivity and how it’s perfect for people with sensitive skin and yada yada yada.)
And I remember writing in my Google Notes:
At that point, I was ready to put up my hands like,
“Okay, okay, I’m done. You win, you invisible creature trying to screw me over. Now can I get a break?”
Recently, I started reading The Gratitude Diaries by Janice Kaplan. Reading this book has made me aware of how much of a sore loser I am most of the time.
I mean, so what if I got a no- fragrance body spray?
So what if my laundry is about two storeys high and evicting me from my house?
So what if I have this big exam to write?
I realise that I've been so focused on all the things supposedly going wrong that I've failed to notice all the beauty around me.
Uhh, let’s be clear; my pile of laundry was not beautiful. Thank you very much.
We get so hot and bothered about what we don’t have yet, while failing to acknowledge all the things we do have.
And I know this might sound like some end of year cliché thing, but it’s true.
If we look long and hard enough, we really will find reasons to be thankful.
So here’s my list of Top 5 Things to Be Grateful for, Even Though They Stressed the Jiggers out of Me:
1. I’m grateful for no fragrance body sprays.
I mean, some people do have sensitive skin. And although it was a nuisance spraying it so many times and feeling like something must be wrong with my nose for not perceiving zilch, I’m grateful.
I’m thankful because I got to use my roommate’s spray even though she would have fits if she knew how many times I sprayed it.
Plus, it was a real bonding moment, her chasing me around and screaming for me to drop her spray.
So.
2. I’m grateful for my pile of laundry.
My humongous, scary pile of laundry.
Because even though it probably accounted for at least 40% of my cortisol blood levels this period, I’m grateful that it was the perfect excuse to get a washer.
Within a couple of hours, my entire wash load was gone for good.
I mean, hanging out to dry.
3. I’m grateful for lecturers that spend hours and hours in the classroom, even though it sometimes gives me a headache.
I’m thankful because the lectures are pretty interesting, and it beats listening to a snoozer for 3 hours.
I’m grateful because, well, they must love us so much.
Right??
4. I’m grateful for the exams which I had to write.
Because even though they were stressful as walking barefoot through hell (I don’t know what that feels like, but I’m sure it’s close), I didn’t get the ulcer I was scared of developing from all the stress.
Plus, I passed!
5. I’m grateful for my school.
Even though things get a bit stressful occasionally — occasionally being like, every other day.
I’m thankful that we’re still here. That ASUU hasn’t decided to go on strike and thus add a couple more months to our already delayed calendar.
Way to go, ASUU.
And I'm grateful for my family, my dad who calls me like every other day and my mum who ends every call with "I love you".
I’m grateful for Brother 1, who insists I should stop calling him "Boooo" and go find my own boo.
I’m grateful for Brother 2, who doesn’t talk much, but kinda loves speaking to my account.
I’m grateful for my friends, who give me a safe space to be myself and who are pretty amazing. When they’re not annoying, that is.
(Uhm, I hope they don’t see this part lol).
I'm grateful for my acquaintances and people who make great conversations.
I'm thankful for the weather, even though it insists on trying to get me under it.
I mean, I'm okay where I am, harmattan, thank you very much.
I'm grateful for supermarkets, people, books, and love.
And most of all, I'm grateful to the One who started me on this gratitude journey. I'm thankful because He actually said,
"You need to loosen up a bit, Ngozi".
And I thought,
"Alright, alright. I'll try."
Thank You, God.
